Funny Focus Group Stories

I. MY PARENTS & THE BAGELS

One time I was doing an insurance group in New Jersey near where I grew up. Someone in my family had told my parents where I was going to be for some reason (G_d knows why!). Anyway, after the first group I walk into the back to see my clients displaced to the back viewing chairs because my parents, together with my aunt and uncle and a giant tray full of bagels and lox had decided to come and watch the group. They took the front seat, kept on saying (in their little Hungarian accents) - "Oh, that's my darling! How cute she is when she asks that! Oh.... Isn't that hilarious what she said? Can you believe? That's my Shariku!"

The kicker was when I heard that my clients were invited back to my parents house for home made pizza. I never found out if any of them went!

II. LOOKING FOR PLAQUE LANGUAGE

I was doing a group looking for consumer language on tartar and plaque with specific application to dentures. One man who said he had a full set of false teeth was particularly concerned about the matter but was having difficulty communicating what he meant about plaque accumulating on the plastic back of his dentures. Because it was a group searching for language, I just kept on probing, trying to get him to fully articulate what he meant.

Eventually, in his frustration, this guy who was sitting to my immediate left, just puts his hand in his mouth and pulls out his dentures entirely, holding them in my face and asserting "HERE! THIS IS WHAT I MEAN!". Of course, remaining task focused on the outside while I quelled my squeamish stomach, I calmly asked him and the group __. "and what do you call that?"

III. THE VAGINITIS QUEEN

After completing a long series of insight mining groups and IDI's on a soon to be released OTC yeast treatment, my client was preparing a presentation for the sales force. Brand wanted to film something with real life people that would succinctly get to the compelling points about the product to rev up the sales team.

We created a very targeted discussion guide, invited participants who were "camera ready" and got ready to go. The film crew was nervous about the results and wanted a practice run. My assistant interviewed me to show them what to expect. They were satisfied and we proceeded with the 10 interviews.

Apparently, they liked my acting. In fact they liked it so well, that they used it for the sales presentation for all of the company and its many divisions to see. They never got my permission of course. There I was on film, talking about (acting as if I had) recurrent vaginitis. Then, every time I met someone else in the company, they would start out by asking me "how's that little problem you were having". Some even called me the "Vaginitis Queen!" How embarrassing. I'll never live it down.

IV. WATCH OUT FOR THAT DIAPHRAGM

Groups among OB/GYNs about new forms of contraception. Evaluating different prototypes. One of the doctors took one of the new diaphragms and used it as a slingshot, aiming it across the table at another doctor and hitting him in the head. Decided I would take him off my personal list of possible docs.

V. PRUNE POWER!

The only job I was ever really given bad marks for, was with regard to a series of groups on new laxative products. At the last minute, my client handed me an extra white card concept entitled "Prune Power," which I just couldn't get through without hysterically laughing. I tried and tried and tried, but each time I read it I laughed out loud. I eventually just gave it to one of the respondents to read, but he had the same problem.

VI. FOCUS GROUPS IN CUBA?

I have one more. I think that I may be one of the only moderators to have actually done focus groups in Cuba. Well, _ it wasn't totally in Cuba, exactly. Let me explain.

In the mid 1980s I was on my way down to Miami to do groups on coffee. I had had a reasonably calm plain ride, except for noticing this one man in camouflage in the lavatory with the door open. The flight attendants motioned me to the first class lavatory when I went to use that one in coach.

Long story short, as we land, I see planes with Russian & Spanish markings I never saw before. Then, a whole bunch of jeeps circle the plane and machine gun armed soldiers get out of the jeeps. The pilot comes on the loudspeaker and calmly announced "Lady's and gentleman, I'd like to welcome you to beautiful downtown Havana. I know you were all eager to get to Miami, but we had a gentleman on board who said he preferred to stop off here for a little bit, so we thought we'd oblige him".

The man in the lavatory, was sitting there with a Molotov cocktail in one hand and an open lighter in the other, taking the plane to Cuba. He was just a very destitute Cuban who wanted to go home. He was in the lavatory on the john because hijacking the plane made him nervous and resulted in abdominal spasms and diarrhea.

So, we were stuck at the Havana airport for a while, surrounded at gunpoint. Everyone was a bit nervous, of course, and so to calm my anxiety (and that of everyone else), I decided I would do an impromptu focus group on Coffee and report the results to my client. So, I kind of did a focus group in Cuba once!

PS _ it was very interesting when we finally got off the plane, we were interviewed by the FBI who asked us questions like "How long were you planning on staying in Cuba?". Imagine! I was interviewed in particular detail because I saw the man in the restroom.

SOME OTHER SELECTED FUNNY STORIES

1. NEAR & DEAR TO ME

Youth groups...... Youth with homework to bring in something that was Near and Dear to them. Everyone took their turn explaining what was Near and Dear to them. I got to one respondent and he explained how his mom passed away last year. So she was Near and Dear to him. Then he stood up and turned away, pulled down his pants and mooned us, He had a tatoo of "MOM" on his butt!

2. HEY _ WAKE UP!

Host was asked to go come into focus group room and wake up respondent because if moderator did it, it would distract the group. Host went in and shook the respondent causing big distraction, woke the guy and said buddy if you do not stay awake you will not get your $ 50.00! (Moderator was thinking HOST would more discrete)

3. YOU MEAN I WASN'T SUPPOSED TO EAT THE WHOLE LOAF?

Taste test..........Each respondent in the room (40) each respondent had (Labled) DISPLAY a whole loaf and SAMPLE for each type of bread . I had one respondent say to me AFTER her 5th sample. I know I am suppose to try it all but I can't eat any more do you mind if I take a break (She ate the 5 loaves of bread in WHOLE + the 5 slices). This was before instructions and before the sampling began!

4. HEY _ TURN ON THE LIGHTS!

Group on SEAFOOD..... Started out the group talking about what represents and what comes to mind. As I was making note on the flip chart (Respondents call out) Water, White wine, Salmon, etc..... They were letting me know what was being served behind the glass .......The host forgot to turn down the lights behind the glass.

5. VAMPIRE BABY

In a project for a funeral company we were supposed to test peoples ideas about coffins, how they should be decorated, material and so on. We put a real coffin in the discussion room but started by hiding it with blankets and sheets. A woman with a small baby (approx. 2 month) attended one group and before I saw it she had put the baby in the coffin considering it as a very nice "box" for the baby to sleep in. When I uncovered the coffin she was first shocked but started to laugh and that became a good start for the discussion on a very emotional subject.

6. FOCUS GROUPS ARE BLIND

About 9 years ago I was about to moderate a group in a project for a big international company. They had to do a very important ad test before an international campaign. It was a very visual work task to do in the groups with a lot of ads to look at and a collage to be made.

When I enter the first group I notice that there were two blind people in the group. I was really shocked and didn't know what to do. The group started and I tried to act as natural as possible. When we came to the part where every group member should express their feelings about the ads, a wonderful dynamic process started. Those with sight started to explain for the blinds what the ads really were about, and in great detail expressed their feelings about them, to help the blind to "visualize" the ads.

The discussions that follow were one of the best I ever have had in a group. After that we discuss to have "a blind person" in every group discussion with ads.

7. OBSERVERS? WHAT OBSERVERS?

Just to indicate just how much participants forget about the one-way glass for observers. For a bra company, we wanted to test usage and attitudes and the positioning of sports bras. I had to ask a female colleague to moderate. They were told about the one- way glass and observers behind it.

However, in the second portion of the group, on the issue of comfort, one participant lifted her shirt to show where her bra was pinching her. Soon followed a series of shirt lifting incidents as if the glass wasn't there anymore. Us males behind the glass "needed" to stay focused on what they were saying not to be distracted by the "non-verbal" aspects of the discussion ... To me, that is the measure of a good moderator. When participants get so involved that they forget where they are, that's when you start getting to the truth!

8. TAMPONS FOR MEN?

One time we were doing a focus group which was supposed to be all women. We thought this one particular group WAS all women, but towards the end of the group we realized that one particular young member was not a woman but a transvestite. The clients then told us that it seemed important to take into account the opinion of this person anyway, but there wasn't much for him to say, really, because the product under consideration was a sanitary napkin. Ooops!

9. HEART STOPPER

Respondent Heart Stopper: When recruiting for a medical focus group we placed an ad in the local newspaper asking consumers with a pacemaker to participate in an important opinion research study. Of course a facility receives many calls and sometimes from a professional respondent who seems to qualify for everything in spite of our efforts to screen them out.

Some calls are very odd but none so strange as the professional respondent who completed the screener perfectly, was invited to participate in the group and then asked... "do I have to bring my pacemaker with me to show to the group?"

10. NOW THAT'S TRULY FIELD RESEARCH!

This incident took place a few years ago when one of our Research Executives was conducting interviews for a study on Family Planning in Peshawar (Pakistan) - a city inhabited by stout and sturdy Pathans (who often become subject of jokes). He was told that if he wanted to meet the male head of the household, he should come early in the morning.

Desperate to complete his assignment, the executive knocked on his door around 7 A.M. Though feeling pretty groggy and upset, the Pathan agreed to be interviewed. Everything went cool till he got to the interview part about usage of family planning methods.

The dialogue went thus: RE: Sir, which FP method do you use? P: I use balloons. RE: (Realizes that the respondent meant 'condoms') OK. And which brands have you ever used? P: (Feeling bad that he agreed to be interviewed) I don't know. RE: (Pushing on with the next question) Which brand are your currently using? P: (Losing cool) If you are so damn interested in what I use, come tomorrow at 6 A.M. That's when I have my morning sex. Instead of throwing the balloon away, I'll take it off and give it to you - then you can see the brand yourself!

11. YUMMY CEREAL!

Kid focus groups -- It was a group of 8 nine year old boys for a new cereal. One of the kids was very quiet during the session, but with 7 others, I pretty much left him alone and focused on the others. Then came the tasting.

I poured out bowls and the boys started to eat. After about 3 minutes that one boy suddenly took on a very rigid posture and starting vomiting all over his cereal. Remember, these are 9 year old boys, so, of course the rest of them start yelling, "He Puked!"

At this point, my memory turns into an out-of-body experience. The woman who runs that facility is a mother of 11 (true). While I'm hovering on the ceiling somewhere, she comes in, and in what seemed like 2 giant strokes has the table all cleaned up. I float after her out of the room as she leaves. In the hall, my clients are standing, faces greenish. Chinese food has just been delivered and the mix of aromas was truly revolting.

We agree to cut the group and take a break. I walk back into the room and the boys (even the puker) are eating the cereal. They like it so much, most want seconds.

12. CONTROL FREAK

We were in the process of developing the Marketing and Sales plan for a new voice activated remote control device. The entrepreneur who was driving the development of the company was an absolute extreme ego maniac. We scheduled a focus group to see how potential users would react to the concept of the product.

The facility was excellent. We were getting into the product and the concept when all of a sudden the Entrepreneur goes bursting out of the back room in to the main room, pushes the interviewer out of the way and takes over explaining the product, etc. Then when anyone disagreed with him he got in an argument with them.

Needless to say, the focus group was a complete fiasco, but what a funny memory. Fortunately never happened before or since...guess the key is putting a leash on the company people, or not having them there at all...just kidding.

13. PRACTICAL JOKE ON ALL YOU RECRUITERS?

The project was for two focus groups. We were to recruit people who dined in at a certain restaurant, a national chain, and drank beer with their main course. We were sent a list and we recruited for four days.

We were not able to find anyone that ate at the restaurant. We found that a lot of people ate and drank beer at the competitors but not at this restaurant chain. The client called on the fourth day and sheepishly explained that there client discovered they have only one restaurant within 100 miles of where we were recruiting and it was a take out only. We were asked to create a bill for the time spent and they would pay immediately.